Too Close to Call

Ladies and gentlemen,

As you all know about the hierarchy of creation, man was created after everything else.

But before man, there were animals and there were animals of every kind.

Like human beings of today, these animals had traditions and cultures, events and anniversaries.

But one thing of interest in their calendar of events was that after every five years, they organized beauty contests.

Yes, after every five years, they had to see who was the fairest of all. Of course animals are not the most beautiful creation of God.

Anyway, the pageant was marked without fail, five years in, five years out like a ritual – until one time.

Yes, one time during a similar occasion, things went haywire.

This day, the finalist had been drawn from all parts of the animal kingdom.

From the east, came the gazelle, beautiful but shy.

From the west, close to the lake, came the dog, black and graceful. Minus its six front teeth, it was the best the west could offer.

 There was the jackal from the central part of the animal kingdom. The jackal was the reigning miss world and was just there to defend its title. With bangles on all its front limbs, it looked set for the occasion.

From the north, came the warthog and the south the kangaroo.

Several other contestants came in from nowhere but from within the animal kingdom, making a total of nine contestants that year.

On the contesting day, everything was planned as thought would be best. Huge amounts of resources were spent for the occasion, resources that mainly came from the individual animal contribution for the welfare of the jungle. But it was still fine for the animals since what they wanted was to get the best for the next five years.

First to take on the catwalk was the kangaroo.

Yes, the catwalk. So called because cats had reigned for four consecutive terms, and had been granted “the honours”.

So there was the kangaroo doing its thing; Pa! Pa! Pa! to match acclamation.

Then came the warthog; Pa! Pa! Pa!

The dog and the jackal closed the scene after five other contestants and then it was time for the table of adjudicators to announce the winner.

Every animal waited in deep breathe for this announcement and when the chief adjudicator stood, a deafening silence fell over the venue.

So he cleared his throat to announce, “E-e-e-eeeh… ladies and gentlemen, the winner is…the jackal!

No! No! Nooooooo! No waaaaaay! Doooog… Dooooog… The dog is the winner!!!

“Silence please!” called the chief adjudicator. “Silence so that we can crown the winner!”

But nobody listened.

Dogs fighting jackals, jackals hitting back like never before

In fact no one was going to listen, then suddenly all hell broke loose; dogs fighting jackals and jackals hitting back like never before.

Many times, the dog and the jackal had acted as mediators in jungle wars but now at each other’s neck, the arbitrator had become the perpetrator.

All animals of the jungle watched in disguise, wondering how much blood each would draw from the other before they could sit aside and resolve their differences. According to majority of the animals, the dog and the jackal were fighting on the basis of hunger for power.

Tales of the on-going battle reached far and wide. The most horrendous was told of female squirrels and their young ones who in a bid to escape sought refuge in the sanctity of their barrows. They were set ablaze in their flammable urine and in a haze, were dead!

Agony depression and hatred engulfed the animals of Lukenya as every animal was fighting another in vengeance and revenge. They devoured each other in a war none could tell its origin. It was foolhardy.

The war got even worse when spectators started taking sides.

A warthog from nowhere accidentally stepped on the nose of a nearby hyena. Suddenly, all hyenas that had hitherto been considered cowards turned against any warthog in sight and started tearing them apart.

The tortoise withdrew into its shell; making the side it supported a mystery. It was later rumored that it sympathized with the jackal.

The penguin for once took the character of the ostrich, burying its head in the sand in a show of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. In their white – vested chests and black overcoats, they were the most pious of all animals. As other animals walked on fours, they had already mastered the art of walking straight on their twos. They had resigned to ignorance regardless of their revelation and knowledge.

As the war raged on, some disadvantaged animals had to flee from their habitats to their neighborhoods and they came to be referred to as the internally displaced animals. They could be heard shouting from safe distances, “We want peace! We want peace!”

But this was just a wishful thinking, for what was to come would shock the entire animal kingdom.

Animals of Wahututsi forest were shocked to see blood flowing in their rivers. They did not like the sight of blood. It reminded them of a time in history that they were struggling to forget. A time when they had turned against each other, culminating into the death of over five hundred thousand animals. So they sent the emissaries upper hill on a fact – finding mission.

In two hours, five hundred animals lay dead with thousands scampering for safety. The situation was getting out of hand. Something had to be done, and done immediately.

The dove was then sent from the distant equatorial forest to broker peace among the warring animals and after forty-eight hours of consultation, a solution was found!

The crown would be split into two; one half would be used to crown the dog and the other half, the jackal since looking at the two, it was too close to call.

All animals were happy with this Solomonic decision, peace was restored and they had every reason to sing and dance!!! It was party time...